by Beber's Ghost | May 21, 2007 | Members
I’ve been having a fascinating conversation with Tommy from Mid-America region. In his comment of May 17 he asks two questions, and I thought I’d respond to the second one first – the issue of “late night rooms” and revisit the whole co-ed housing question.
First, let me remind everyone that I only speak for myself here, so the following interpretation of BBYO policy is not “official” by any means.
So let’s get right down to business. The purpose of the no co-ed housing policy is NOT to prevent AZA’s and BBG’s from hooking up. As an advisor, I have no problems with that at all – to a significant degree that’s what conventions are for.
The purpose of the no co-ed housing policy is to, believe it or not, preserve fraternity and sisterhood. Surprised? Bear with me.
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by Beber's Ghost | May 11, 2007 | Members
In a recent comment, Tommy from Mid-America region argues that convention rules should be more lax so that Alephs and BBG’s would have more opportunity to “hook-up”.
He is absolutely correct.
In my post “The Convention Game” I argue that when members violate convention rules they are not only breaking their word, and truly going against the very foundation of BBYO as a youth led organization. Tommy, in his comment, points out that this is a lot to ask for from a bunch of teens with raging hormones. This is true. He does not quite say that raging hormones should be an excuse for breaking the rules – if he did, on that we would part company. He then makes a strong case for changing the rules. In doing so he is, from my perspective, embracing his role as a leader in BBYO.
I don’t know what role Tommy plays in his region, but whether Aleph or RAG (or even advisor), I encourage him to mobilize his friends to modify the rules. This needn’t be difficult. For example: I’ve been at more than one convention where they had a large “late night room” – those members who wanted to could hang out together well past curfew as long as they didn’t actually fall asleep (though inevitably some did). A good regional director will be open to creative suggestions for more social opportunities, but it’s up to the members to raise this issue if they feel existing rules are too strict.
Convention planners should include plenty of social programs – I’ve seen some cases where they were so focused on separates they didn’t plan nearly enough social time. I’ve also seen conventions go so far off schedule that what social time was planned was lost, either through poor planning or lack of cooperation by members on basic issues like getting to meals on time.
As an advisor, I agree 100% with Tommy’s observation that one of the most important purposes of conventions is for Alephs and BBG’s to hang out (if not hook up). On more than one occasion I’ve offered (unofficial) advice to members on how to accomplish this without a major rules violation. But the way to increase these opportunities is not by condoning rule breakers and breaking trust. It’s by changing the rules and being trustworthy. To give you an example: A “late night” hangout room such as I describe can only work when the members can be trusted to follow the agreement that makes such arrangements possible.
It is my obligation as an advisor to see that convention rules are followed. It is the responsibility of the youth leadership to enforce the rules so that advisors don’t have to. It is the obligation of every member to follow the rules as they promised. And most important of all, it is the right of every member to be vocal and involved in changing the rules for the betterment of the order (and yes, that includes the social aspects as well).
by Beber's Ghost | May 2, 2007 | Members
Yesterday this thoughtful comment was posted in response to my recent post “The Convention Game“. This post is in response to you (who posted the comment) and anyone in your situation:
As a current regional leader, I feel that it is the regional board’s job to regulate their peers’ actions before getting the staff involved. Unless someone is going to be seriously injured, I’d rather kick boys out of a cabin myself and stay quiet than alert a staff member and have harsher than necessary actions taken, especially for a first offense.
That’s one of the toughest calls to make. I know the “official” answer: that you should have notified staff, but you and I both know it’s not so simple – “just following orders” is never a sufficient answer, even if it’s orders by your regional director.
Here’s one suggestion though: (more…)
by Beber's Ghost | Apr 28, 2007 | Members
I’ve staffed many regional conventions. Generally I’ve enjoyed them except for one part – the “game” that seems to get played at night. What is the game? Call it, if you will “let’s see if we can break the rules and not get caught.” Whether it’s drugs or alcohol, or sneaking into each others rooms (girls in guys cabins and vice versa), or going out and doing various pranks, it seems to happen to various degrees at many conventions. Sometimes the regional board joins in (or worse, instigates the activities).
Most members don’t even understand why this is a problem. I’ve heard individuals explain “pot isn’t even as bad as tobacco”, “we were just hanging out – nothing happened”, “it’s just a harmless prank – it’s traditional”.
And they are right – but in being right they completely miss the point.
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by Beber's Ghost | Apr 23, 2007 | Members
I’ve heard a lot of speeches in BBYO. Election speeches, States and Midstates. I’ve read even more (since it’s quite common now for regional and even board officers to prepare their speeches on computer and Email or post them on web sites). Most are pretty good. Some are rather depressing (particularly the “I know I didn’t do anything all last year on regional board” variety), some are motivating, some are analytical, some just wishful thinking.
Earlier today I received a document from Boaz Avital, an outgoing regional board member from CRW that was, above all, true.
Now, I don’t know if you can tell from reading this site, but I’m a big fan of truth. I can’t say I always like the truth – it’s often unpleasant. But I respect the truth, and I believe that the best way to make progress is to see things for what they really are, not what people say they are, and not the way people wish they would be.
Boaz does this well, and I thank him for the opportunity to publish it here. I encourage you all to read it.
Download What Has AZA Done for You?
by Beber's Ghost | Apr 13, 2007 | Members
One of the great dilemmas that any BBYO member faces is whether or not to run for chapter board. Given that springtime is election season for many chapters, this seems a good time to visit this topic.
So what are board members anyway? I know what you’re thinking – they are the members who are elected to lead the chapter.
Uh, actually, they aren’t.
Certainly you would hope that those who aren’t on board have leadership opportunities as well. In fact, I often find that non-board members are some of the strongest leaders in the chapter, not just in terms of planning great events, but in terms of general influence over the chapter. And sad to say, there are also cases where members who are elected to a board position end up doing very little in terms of leadership (or even their job).
I’ve never seen being elected to a board office magically turn anyone into a leader. It does often provide the challenge and opportunity to gain those skills, but by and large those elected to offices are those who have already demonstrated leadership ability, or a least the desire to gain such.
So what are board members?
They are the members who are chosen to take, and have agreed to take personal responsibility for the operation of the chapter.
Members can be great leaders on and off board. And they can plan great programs on and off board. But with a board position comes two great gifts – the gift of responsibility, and the opportunity to make a commitment.
It is this that perhaps distinguishes BBYO from any other youth group (Jewish or other). BBYO board members can carry more responsibility and authority than teens in any other environment I can think of. In fact, they can carry greater responsibility and authority than many adults do.
If you are an Aleph or BBG who is not running for board because you are too busy, too lazy, or too afraid to run, please reconsider. Talk to your advisor about it. It could exactly what you and your chapter really needs. And if you are Aleph or BBG who is planning on running just because you want a fancy title and know you aren’t going to do much, please don’t run – leave the opportunity to someone who can truly gain from the experience and will take the opportunity and responsibility seriously.
And for those who run and don’t make it, don’t fret – a healthy chapter will offer numerous other opportunities for you to have an impact and show your stuff. Take those opportunities, and a board spot will likely follow.
